Oh I should probably mention this from the start:
~~THIS BLOG IS EXPLICIT~~
Now I can start. I'm 5 weeks into the school year (1/8 done) and I'm considered one of the Smart Kids (or nerds.) My parents have always pushed me and my siblings to be good at school and sports.
Thing is I'm not good at either. I've passed my siblings already in soccer by scoring (only one who's done that in my family) but parents missed it and everyone was telling them. All I got was a smile and good job. Which is more recognition then I get from anything really. I do good in school "oh good job"*ignored* , does something good in soccer "nice job" I've never actually felt good about doing something good. No one really acknowledges the fact that I did something good. Often I just feel like everyone says that to try and make me think I'm good, but think I'm terrible at it. Honestly I think I suck at everything I do.
I try but I can't do it. At least come up to people's expectations. And if I overcome their expectations it's just a side commented "oh nice job"
So I've been doing relatively bad in math and when my mom heard suddenly she became much more vigilant about finding out about it and asking about so on and so forth.
So yeah. Also my parents expect me to be in top-ten. Which isn't really that easy for me to do. Due to my grade having a bunch of really smart kids, stupid kids and me. I'm like 15th in our grade. But I feel like I should get some other credit for already trying to learn about what I want to do. Siblings never did that.
Anyways I haven't been playin minecraft or learning my programming because when I get back from soccer and school and do my homework I don't wanna deal with others problems or learn more. I just want to mindlessly destroy stuff.
So that's my story. Sorry it probably made nonsense at all but oh well