October 11th, 2012
This is an extremely bittersweet goodbye. But at the same time, it isn't. Before I go anymore in-depth here, I would like to make this point crystal clear: JR is the friendliest, most helpful, most amazing whole-rounded gaming community I have ever had the honor of not only being able to call myself a member of, but also being able to say I have helped in whatever way(s) I could on a daily basis.
And that would realistically be the bitter part of the bittersweet. I am drafting this message for the first time at approximately 5:40am, EST on September 26th, 2012. I am literally loosing sleep over this issue I am facing, and while the issue is not JR or any part thereof (including extensions such as (but not limited to) NLTekkit) it is unfortunately a consequence to a resolution I've come to recently dealing with my personal life.
This semester (between this prior August and this coming December), I am in my third semester attending the University of Kentucky. Originally, I came here with the intention of learning communications and networking. Basically how any two electronic devices talk to each other in big perspectives, like making computers as a whole talk to each other or making communications work on a global scale, an example being Amateur Radio (which I hold a valid FCC license for, commonly dubbed 'Ham Radio'). But I digress, that is more than enough of a back story for this simple yet complex issue.
The issue is rather simple: UK is not by any means a cheap school. In fact it is a very expensive school. And I'm not exactly learning things that I consider worth my money (that I don't have). My issue here is that I'm going to be in so much debt by the time I manage to get the piece of paper known as a 'college degree' that I doubt it will be worth it, as I would be working off the debt for the rest of my life... O_O
Because of this, I am not returning to UK next semester. After three semesters' worth of debt, I still have a chance, however small, to dig myself out. So why does this affect my membership at JR? Well that's rather simple.
What I need: A job, an income, training equivalent to a 'college degree' (actually exceeding it), prior job history, etc. Basically things that will make me very valuable to employers. And with the state the US economy is currently in, it will not be getting any better anytime soon. Which means I need security in all the things in that list above all else. There are also things I clearly lack. Discipline (in the formal sense), fitness (I've gotten lazy since coming to college... having to study in basically all my free time (and still not do very well in classes) = sitting for 98% of my day + still needing to eat = Tim got fatter than he was ), etc.
There is a clear place where I would excel and receive everything (and more) I need, as well as give me the things I recognize myself as lacking as of late: the military. Any branch of any military on the face of this planet is known for this! And in this environment, it seems like the best thing I could possibly do for myself (especially considering that while I am in the service (active duty and/or reserve) my loans will be on standby, not inuring any interest, which would be tremendously helpful for my situation).
The issue with this is that (supposing all goes well and I am accepted into the Air Force, which is the branch I'm looking into going into), I will be shipped off to BMT, or Basic Military Training. For about 8 weeks. Then comes 'Tech school', which is essentially college stripped down off all the bull, cost, and liberal arts classes that don't actually contribute to what you are learning. Tech school can last anywhere from another two months to two years, but again, I would be considered active duty during this time, so I would have all the benefits as such.
Because of this, I do not feel as though I will have time for JR where other people clearly do and could easily fill my shoes. I have come to love JR so much that because of this, I am asking for a demotion from Jamie (he will have received this letter earlier than it will be released to the community as a whole) â€“ I want to see someone who has the time to devote to JR in my place.
Why am I not just posting about this in the Home & Away Topic and just asking for a temporary demotion? Well to be honest, the military will change me. I doubt I will have any more time for JR when I am in Tech School or graduated thereof than I do at this moment. Because of this, I think it is unfair of me to hold a position where I can help so many, yet never actually have time to do so.
I do hope to come back to JR one day, as I did less than a year ago when I first came across the community in this same building, however I know the military will change me, and as such, I cannot whole-heatedly promise that I will be able to, or even that I will want to then. And this saddens me. But knowing that I was a part of the Staff Team that makes JR as epic and redundantly awesome as it is today makes me literally weep tears â€“ at the very least I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the most awesome time I've had in a long time; I will miss you all very dearly.
That being said, I won't be completely disappearing from the community so long as I can muster it â€“ I've already paid up through the semester (December), so I still have to work to get the best grades I can (LOL), and more importantly get back into physical shape. I will still almost definitely be trolling the forums and keeping up with the community, but at some point or another I will unfortunately disappear from the Internet for a few months while I attend BMT in Texas.
And even then, as I've said, that is not a guarantee as of yet. It is just a dream. But I don't foresee any reason I will have difficulties with this. I do have to tell my parents my decision though, and I'm honestly not sure which scares the crap out of me more... telling them or writing this letter to you all... :'(
Lastly, I would like to thank all the current and previous members of the Staff Team â€“ you all are what makes the community so epically awesome so that thousands of people can enjoy playing together in an environment that is fun but organized â€“ I would very much like to name individual people and thank them personally for the ride as it has been, however I refuse to do so because it is almost inevitable that I will accidentally leave someone out, and I would absolutely hate to do that.
If there is anything else I feel I need to say, rest assured that I will do so. But attempting to convince me otherwise of this decision should not be attempted â€“ I have been considering this since just about the time I was made an Admin. This is not something I have taken lightly, and I cry each time I think of how I am telling Jamie and his Staff this so soon after that promotion, however I do so with only good intentions for both myself and JR's continuation â€“ after all an Admin that actually has time for being helpful on a large scale and is not planning on taking an extended leave soon is much more worth having than someone who just seemed to disappear one day because he realistically has no time for being helpful anymore.
And for that, I am sorry. So deeply sorry. But there is no point in pretending anymore â€“ this will just be better for everyone. And as I've already said, I hope to log back in one day in the not-so-distant future and see the exact same community that I left. And I believe that if I every manage to do so, I will find that everything that made me love JR in the first place is still here, having withstood everything that anyone could ever throw at them.
I love you all. <3 And I am so sorry. :'(