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Mr. Muscle

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Everything posted by Mr. Muscle

  1. Well when I said heavy, I kind of meant more metal. Pretty sure most people wouldn't necessarily consider AC/DC heavy with the music they play.
  2. Just saw one of your videos there. It does look like good craic and I bet if you can get a team together then you can make a real day of it.
  3. Hogs of War is class but I realised a couple of years back when I wanted to play it that my save file was corrupted. Essentially the campaign is you defeating the enemy, slowly promoting and upgrading your pigs then when you win the game, it starts all over again. Except this time, the enemy pigs are upgraded a level and all of your pigs are back down to the first rank so it's challenging. I can't remember but I could've sworn there was a third campaign as well which is the same as the first 2 except the enemy is another rank higher and you're still back to the lowest rank. When you finish, you're supposed to get rewards to promote your pigs for the following campaign but this didn't work for me the first time so it was very tough. After all the hours of work, it was kind of heartbreaking seeing that corrupted save file! Uncharted is very good. Think Tomb Raider but with a story like Indiana Jones. I still haven't played the 3rd one (a criminal offence) but the first 2 are brilliant. Between story and just fun game play they're some of the best games I've played.
  4. Good choices. I must definitely check some of these out. I suppose different channels might appeal to you at different times so it's good that you have a bit of variety. Sometimes when I like to feel like I'm accomplishing something without actually doing anything, I use Ted talks haha.
  5. I did like Gone Girl as well. I thought it was well paced and kept you interested right up until the end. Interstellar was quite an emotional film which, pardon the pun, was all about the journey - Both the physical one and the emotional one the characters go through. I believe they are making a new film with Orlando Bloom coming back.
  6. Well I've had a numerous ideas for games before (haven't we all? ) but I thought of one which could be cool a few months back. Essentially it's about Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare On Elm Street except he isn't the main character. You play as a sceptic detective, investigating a series of disappearances and deaths related to a mysterious cult that worships a supernatural being who exists in your dreams - Freddy. It would be like a Silent Hill level of horror as the deeper you go, the more twisted things become. What sparked the idea was the Scarecrow dream levels in Batman: Arkham Asylum. I thought that they were great concepts but imagine if they were really turned up to 11 with regards gore and horror? At around the halfway point in the game, the Protagonist would finally meet Freddy in his dream and the game would go from being grounded, hinting at supernatural events, to going full-on survival horror.
  7. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkiZfq4z3ms 7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen). "Sitting out dances on the wall/Trying the forget everything that isn't you. I'm not going home alone/ 'Cause I don't do too well on my own"
  8. I do like listening to 'heavier' music but my knowledge of it is far from extensive. I'll have to check out these bands for sure. Anybody got other suggestions for metal bands etc?
  9. Well I don't necessarily listen to much music while playing games since I like to immerse myself in the game as it is, including the music they use. I just feel that if there's music in a game then the developers put it in to fit the scene they've crafted to enhance the experience. Saying that, I only completed the broomstick challenge on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for PS2 when I had "Tears Don't Fall" by Bullet For My Valentine on in the background.
  10. I'd say Fall Out Boy for me just about come out on top. I'm not as big a fan of their post-reunion stuff (it's still good but doesn't sound as good as their old stuff. I felt like before they made music for themselves but now they're just making music for the masses).
  11. Since we're still in the early part of 2016, there's still a lot of upcoming games to get hyped for. Which ones are you personally excited about and why? They can be on any platform or gaming device. You should say a little bit about your game(s) of choice and why they tickle your fancy as well, just to let the JR Community know why they should love it too!
  12. If we're talking about FPS then I'd probably say one of the James Bond games. I didn't play much of GoldenEye since it was slightly before I started getting into games but I really enjoyed Nightfire. They weren't FPS but Everything or Nothing and From Russia With Love were also great fun. The Uncharted Series involves guns so I'm throwing that in there too! I suppose if we're talking about army kind of games then my favourite was/is Hogs of War. Brilliant game and finishing the campaign was very satisfying.
  13. I'd love to try Airsoft some time since it looks like great fun. The only time you can shoot your friends and not have to deal with the ramifications Do you listen to music Frank or do you play and instrument?
  14. "That acid hurts" - Harry Potter, Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets, PS1. I always found that funny because of how bizarre it seemed while he was fighting the Basilisk
  15. So I assume everyone here uses Youtube for one reason or another. But what channels do you like the most? Do you use it for music? Maybe Fails are your thing? Or maybe a hobbie orientated channel? I enjoy Cinemasins and HowItShouldHaveEnded the most but I'm sure you have your own hidden YouTube channel that you're dying to share with the community!
  16. So what's your favourite film? I'm not really sure about mine since I have a few. I've always liked The Dark Knight. It was one of the first movies I remember checking the time during the film because I didn't want it to end. What films are you passionate about?
  17. Well I suppose my main hobbie is watching films and tv shows. Netflix and chilling by myself
  18. Thanks for the all the comments so far and keep them coming. I'd like to know what you liked and didn't like for when ever I get the chance to write something again. It is quite random but I saw a niche for 'Things-that-make-people-go-WTF' on this site so I just went with it. I typed it myself. When you say copy do you mean plagiarise from another site? Just so you know I'd never copy and paste a full story like this and claim it as my own. Any fiction I write is entirely my own and any similarities between other works are entirely unintentional.
  19. This is a sequel of sorts that I started writing a couple of months ago but I never followed through on (mainly due to college). I found it today while cleaning my room (not a Scary Movie-style euphemism, genuine cleaning) so I decided to rush the rest of it and upload it! I like to write as a hobby (even if my writing leaves a lot to be desired) so any and all feedback would be appreciated. **Again (like most things I write...or say...or think) this story is NOT suitable for children (unless these children have ‘cool’ parents that let them do what they want) and it is also quite weird. You have been warned. 49 Shades Lighter “Hey Lou, can I get a plate of spaghetti and two glasses of water for table seven?†Al the waiter shouted in the general direction of the grubby kitchen. Inside a man, with enough body hair to rival a grizzly bear and the temper to match, craned his neck to process the order. “I don’t think I heard you right Al. Did you just day there’s a shlub that came to The Boui-boui – the swankiest two and a half star restaurant in the neighbourhood- and ordered literally the cheapest things on the menu?†“Yep. Guy’s a total cheap skate. When I asked him for a tip he said ‘Lift with your knees; your back will thank you later’ then he wouldn’t stop laughing until I left. Don’t know how she puts up with it.†Lou’s ears pricked up as he carelessly lobbed a fistful of used spaghetti onto a chipped plate. “She?†“Yeah, Scrooge has got himself a lady friend to keep him company tonight. A real looker too I might add†Al said, reminiscing about the brief glimpse of cleavage he stole while the she was looking at the menu. “There must be something up†Lou declared suspiciously. Was she drunk? Drugged? D’ya think he plans to drug her?†“She seemed pretty with it when I saw her and if that creep wanted to drug her y’think he’d use a more conspicuous drink than water. You should have seen his face when I whipped out the wine menu; he looked like I was pulling a gun on him! Trust me, this guy’s tame.†“Oh†Lou sighed slightly disappointed. “I was kinda hoping for a bit of mystery. I figured it’d be a good use of expertiseâ€. “Watching reruns of CSI and Law and Order doesn’t make you a qualified detective.†Lou glared at Al offensively while putting two murky glasses of what was probably at least sixty percent water and a sickly plate of furry spaghetti on a tray. “I solved the mystery of the rat poison in the food, didn’t I?†“I don’t think it counts if you catch yourself. Besides, ‘officially’ the killer is still at large since you never turned yourself in.†“A magician never reveals his tricks to the public†Lou smiled, casually removing the rat poison from his spice cabinet, primed for any unhappy customers. “Right garcon. Take this to Mr. Frugal over there before the food gets cold. Well colder—Oh wait, that spaghetti looks a little dry. Allow meâ€. Lou reached down to the depths of his oesophagus to conjure the necessary phlegm to complete the dish. “Bon Appé***.†“Great job. By the way there’s a fire in the freezer.†“What? How could there be a fire in the- Oh s*** my cousin’s in there!†As Lou battled the back draft, questioning his decision to employ his arsonist cousin, Al sauntered over to table 7; dropping the tray with disgust. “Talk about service with a scowl, right?†Earl Grey exclaimed with a sense of confidence that had been absent for some time. “Oh you’re so funny Earl†Georgina whispered. She tended to whisper most things, such was her timid personality. Georgina, for those not in the know, was Earl’s girlfriend of three months. Their romance blossomed from a classic case of mistaken identity- she mistook Earl for her cheating boyfriend and attacked him from behind with a golf club. But just before he lost consciousness their eyes met and it was love at first sight. “I am! In fact I think I might jot that down for that one man musical I’ve been writing.†The musical was about a homeless writer living at the bus stop in case you were wondering and it was by Earl’s own humble admission ‘awesome’.†While Earl busied himself with a pen and a napkin, Georgina seized her opportunity. “So will we be staying at your place tonight? It’s just...we always seem to stay at mine and you keep putting it off.†Earl’s confidence was swiftly punctured by a prick from reality. “Not tonight, Honey Badger. It’s...really far away. Too far away. Some other time.†“Is that why I always drop you off at that grubby bus stop?†“Y-yes. You got it in one. Now let’s eat and speak no more of this.†“You sure must have a lot of mileage under your belt. What’s the public transport like?†Earl’s crazy that he’d been trying to keep from Georgina for three months suddenly decided to make a cameo appearance at the restaurant. “The buses are nothing more than sick, cruel, twisted shells of human beings. The kind who laugh and point at you, making you dance for whatever scraps of food they throw your way.†A cloud of silence fell upon them as Earl’s rant ended. A vibration from his pocket signalled a brief respite that both were grateful for. Earl answered without thinking- that was his first mistake. “Hello, who’s speakin-†“You’re speaking ya jackass but thank God you answered. You’re the first person who didn’t hang up on me. I need your help! I needyourbvfdbvbfdsbbb†Larry Wiseman trailed off mid-explanation into incoherent wails and sobs. Earl was still in a state of shock. “Larry, why are you calling me? It’s been six months since I’ve heard a peep from you.†“Wait Larry? Is this the same Larry that you wake up in the night screaming about?†Georgina interrupted. She was duly ignored as Earl took the call outside. Larry pulled himself together long enough to string a few words together that would almost classify as a sentence. “It’s them...they...rob *sniff* me.†“Who are they?†Earl asked ominously. “The mafia...†Earl was just about to end the call right there until Larry finished his sentence. That was his second mistake. “...The *** mafia!†Earl was slightly confused. Not very confused though; this was Larry after all. “The *** mafia? Of course. Why are you involved with the *** mafia?†“A strip poker game gone wrong. I lost so much that they decided to pay me a little visit. They took my pants, man!†Larry said unconvincingly. Earl knew Larry long enough to know when he was lying. He was the type of person who liked to avoid direct confrontation (believe it or not) and he would often make up extravagant lies to get favours from people. He once convinced Earl using forged medical documents and a blackmailed doctor that he only had 24 hours to live just so Earl would go to his birthday party. “Alright Earl, what’s really going on here?†There was a nervous cough on the other side of the line. “Fine, I’ll tell you but you have to come to office and uncuff me.†“If that stuff with the *** mafia wasn’t true then why did you handcuff yourself?†“Oh I played strip poker with the *** mafia but that was hours ago. I did the ‘cuffs myself because I’m a perfectionist. I wanted to make it look like I was robbed so you’d have to come over. I figured if I just asked you then you’d say no. I swallowed the key though so...bring a glove.†Earl walked past the charred remains of a frozen chicken, tossed from the upstairs kitchen, contemplating how to ‘deal’ with Larry. “You don’t need me, just vomit it up. You get sick most nights of the anyway, what with your fascination with drinking shots of Ipecac.†Larry shifted uneasily. “Uh, not that kind of swallow. But I need you anyway. It’s about my son.†“You have a son?†Earl said in disbelief. “Yeah he’s a real chip off the ol’ block. My ex doesn’t like me seeing him though; thinks I’m a bad influence on him but I still get one day a month when he’s mine haha! I’ll show that feral shrew who’s fit to be a parent. Anyway I’m looking after him now and he wants me to read him a bedtime story. I figure you’re the story guy so you could whip up something.†“Y-you’re looking after your son while handcuffed naked to a chair and you call me up out of the blue to come up with a story!†Earl hadn’t been this horrified since he accidently read Larry’s diary at his birthday party. “I’m not naked. I’ve got a jacket on FYI and I’ll pay you for it if you want.†“Where have I heard that one before? You still haven’t paid me for that self-help book I wrote for babies. Goodbye Larry.†The scent of desperation wafted from the other line as, not for the first time that night, Larry had to show his hand and admit defeat. At least he got to keep his clothes on this time though, which is either a negative or a positive depending on if you’re Larry or a casual reader with a vivid imagination. “Wait! Okay, I will pay you.†“Talk is cheap Larry.†“Please Earl. I promise and I can assure you based on my extensive research into phone sex lines that talk is anything but cheap. In fact lemme tell ya a story about last night. Here I was, hand down my--†“Please don’t.†Earl interjected. “Leave the stories to me. I’ll help you just this once then you’re out of my life for good.†“Excellent! That’s what they all say. You weren’t busy tonight anyway, were you?†“Well I was on a date.†“Oh†Larry said, struggling to hide his disappointment. “Well bring her along too. I’d love to meet her.†“I’d prefer you didn’t. So what kind of stuff is your son in to? Little Red Riding Hood? Snow White and the--†“Well he’s watched all the Halloween, the Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street films. Lately I’ve just been reading him case reports from serial killers but he complained they were a bit tame. Say Lawrence, what would you like Uncle Earl to write for you? Lawrence!?†The thought of being called ‘uncle’ made Earl’s skin crawl as he hurried for the nearest bus stop. It was much nicer than his one but he didn’t have time to look at new ‘properties’. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.†“Okay, good. Don’t delay. I think Lawrence has found my exotic knife collection and I’m worried he might hurt...uh, himself.†With that the line went dead as the bus pulled up in front of Earl. He took a brief moment to reflect on how his evening had nosedived thanks to Larry. After a brief hesitation he stepped onto the bus, avoiding the gaze of a driver he was all too familiar with, and sat down. That was his third mistake and it would prove to be his most costly. **Warning** the above story is statistically proven to lower I.Q. and should be avoided at all costs. I should have put this warning at the start but due to a diminished I.Q from repeat readings I thought it best to put it at the end.
  20. Firstly I'd like to thank you for pointing out the mistakes as I've read it so many times that I couldn't see the mistakes myself. Probably should have got someone to proof read it. I actually meant to say bemusement (definition: perplexed and bewildered). I'm not sure about you but generally if someone shouted out "Stop thinking about male genitalia" randomly I'd be very perplexed. The disclaimers/warnings were only put in afterwards after Jamie told me to "warn people the content was offensive". I probably should have put one in to say that the story is VERY weird. It was late when I wrote it and 50 Shades of Grey is big at the moment so I said I'd give it a go. I read Cracked a lot and they use 'd*** Jokes' quite a lot so that's probably another reason for the tone. I don't usually write things like that but I do like writing comedy so if I get inspiration I may write something else.
  21. **WARNING**: The following contains language and themes that are NOT suitable for children. Well really I wouldn’t recommend anyone read it but I wrote it one night a couple of weeks ago and I was really hoping to get some feedback (constructive or otherwise) sooooo....read it if you feel you’re old enough but if you aren’t you should look away now. This thing could face-melt your childhood innocence like The Ark of the Covenant so avert your gaze! 50 Shades of Sensual Touch Earl Grey hurried up the stairs to his agent Larry Wiseman’s office. He had many questions that needed answers. What was this “emergency†that Larry spoke of that needed urgent attention? When was he going to be paid for his last book? Why did Larry keep ‘accidently’ sending him pictures of his oddly shaped penis in the middle of the night? As he entered the dilapidated office the scent of whiskey danced around his nostrils like a drunken man, drunk on whiskey. Larry was clearly in a good mood tonight since his depression and his sobriety went hand in hand. He was sitting behind his desk swivelling wildly in his chair, spilling what little was left of his drink on the rotten floorboards. “I’ve got it!†he exclaimed with a leap, revealing his severe lack of pants or underwear. “Got what? Earl asked analysing how much hair Larry had on his junk in contrast to his combed-over head. The pictures on his phone looked nothing like this. Maybe it was the poor lighting...or maybe Larry was sending him pictures of someone else’s junk mail! With that horrific thought he snapped back into the conversation just as Larry began to speak, grateful that he didn’t have to have to spend another sexually-confusing second thinking about penises. Or was that penii? Crap he was doing it again! “Stop thinking about male genitalia!†he screamed out loud; to Larry’s shock and bemusement. “Right. I’m just gonna ignore that†Larry lied. This was definitely going in his diary. “Please do. So you were saying. This it. Is it contagious?†“Ah yes, it. It. I’ve got you’re next novel idea.†“But I’m still working in ‘my’ last novel idea--†“You read the papers?†Larry asked non-chalantly putting his feet up on the desk to reveal a pair of scarlet cowboy boots. “Does anyone read the paper anymore?†enquired Earl, pondering if the papers he used as blankets to sleep under counted. “Well according to everyone what’s in now is bondage; ergo your novel should be about bondage. We always try to tap into the zeitgeist here at Classy Publications. That’s what makes us so successful.†Earl looked around the dark, dank room, lingering over a chalk outline from the crime scene of a previous occupant before replying. “Last time you told me vampires were the new ‘thing’ so I’ve been writing that novel for the last few years.†“Pfft vampires. “I vant to sawk you’re blawdâ€â€ Larry chided in an accent so offensive that it probably made Bela Lugosi do a 720° in his coffin. “I’ll give’em something to suck. Vampires are out, bondage or porn or whatever you wanna call it is in. Nobody really gives a s*** about vampires anymore.†“So what am I supposed to do with a half-finished about the love between a vampire and a young girl?†“Just tweak it a bit. Replace ‘vampire’ with...with...†Larry was trying to think of the sexiest occupation he could muster. “... ‘writer’s agent’.†“But I don’t even know how to write a porno.†“Easy, like I said it’s just like Mad Libs. Every other word just put in ‘sensual’ and ‘touch’. Also you could change ‘young girl’ to ‘writer’†he said with a hopeful twinkle in his eye. “I dunno Larry, I mean, I like writing about vampires though.†“Trust me it’s easy! I wrote a few porno’s in the past. No one cares about the script. Everyone knows the most important thing is the sets. And you wouldn’t even have to worry about that since it’s a book. Personally I think bondage is really a novel idea.†Larry said with a wry smile that lingered on his face for about four seconds too long. “Couldn’t I like, combine them? I’m sure vampires are capable of doing freaky bedroom s*** too.†Larry’s eyes lit up with dollars signs. Also the Viagra was just kicking in, much to Earl’s displeasure. “My God it’s so simple and yet so brilliant. If only we could mix in a reboot of a classic 80’s TV show then this would be perfect! How soon can you have it on my desk?†“Well I suppose I could have a very rough draft for you next week maybe but-†“Great! I love it very rough! According to the grapevine EVERYONE likes it very rough now! Speaking of, I’m ordering out; what do you fancy Chinese or Italian?†“I’m kinda full now so not really in the mood for-†“So what are you in the mood for then?†Larry said lowering the phone and swivelling his chair suggestively, mimicking Basic Instinct with approximately 80 % more ********. “Chinese it is.†“Excellent. Operator? I’d like you to send me two of your finest, cheapest Chinese escorts and I would prefer it if they were not undercover cops this time. And hurry up please. This erection won’t last forever, am I right Earl? Earl?†Larry stared at the exit door, as it swung shut, with sadness. “More for me anyway!†he cried choking back tears. He had much to put in his diary tonight. At the bus stop outside, Earl began his novel. **Warning**: Any and all sexual arousal gained from reading the below passage is entirely incidental. However, any and all sexual arousal or stimulation gained from reading the above passage is entire intended and fully merited. The moon was full as Sally Bonetboyler knocked at the door. Sensually full. Raymond Sevolydobyreve answered the door bemused. “Who the fu- Oh. Aren’t you the girl who was hiding in the boot of my car the other day?†“Oh yes†she replied, sensually. “I’m just a country girl, but when I’m around you I just lose myself. I can’t believe you forced me into the boot like that. The way you dominated me was so-†“Uh, no. You did that yourself. I found you with a bag tied around your head, remember?†“Oh I know nothing of the seedy, depraved world you live in but I can’t help but get pulled in†Sally opined as she swept passed Raymond, grazing his robe with her hand. The sensual touch sent a tingle through her like a man pissing on an electric fence. Raymond, seeing her convulse in front of him like a beached whale gasping for oxygen, knew she had to go. “Look, I hate to be that guy but I’ve got an interview with a reporter tomorrow and I’m real busy jazzing up my life story so I’m gonna have to call the cops if you don’t leave.†“But Raymond, I’m just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. I wouldn’t dream of letting you take me right here, in front of the fire.†Realization dawned on Raymond. The police could wait a while. “Well okay then, let’s do this.†he ejaculated. From his mouth. Yeah it can be used that way too, look it up!...perverts. “This is the kind of delusional mental illness I can deal with.†“What? Why would I let you chain me up?†Sally exclaimed, sensually. “I’d be...helpless.†“I didn’t actually suggest that ...but I’ve got some snow chains in the garage if you wanna throw down.†Ignoring her previous statement, like a convenient plot-hole, Sally leapt onto Raymond and they began tearing clothes off of each other like two tigers sensually tearing skin off each other for dominance. Sally won due to a swift knee in the bollocks for Raymond. His howl in agony was mistranslated by Sally as a sensual cry of ecstasy so she did it again. And again. She didn’t stop until Raymond threw her off him, hitting her head off the fireplace, sensually. “Oh look†she grunted, like a pig in excrement. “I’m...bleeding! How do you make the pain so pleasurable?†“Whoa there toots, I don’t do so well around blood. I might eat you.†Her suggestively cocked (ha c**k, nice) eyebrow said more than a lazy, cold, homeless writer could possibly describe as the ******* 216 BUS SPLASHED WATER IN HIS FACE FOR LIKE THE FIFTH TIME TONIGHT! DON’T THEY TEACH YOU IDIOTS ABOUT COMMON ******* COURTESY. “What’s that Raymond about nipple clamps?†Sally said suggestively...and sensually. “Well I’ve got a pair of jumper cables and a car battery and some other stuff in the garage if you’re into that. Is waterboarding considered erotic yet?†Before he could explain his case for the merits of waterboarding she was upon him once more. This time though, he was on top...literally. And figuratively too, I guess. He tended to her like a gardener tending to his rose bushes (bush. Sweet). He began thrusting in then out, as if he were one of those Japanese Train Pushers with a carriage full of really fat people. The next morning Raymond awoke to the sound of Sally making him breakfast. “Hey Sleepyhead, I made you pancakes...†she said from the kitchen. Raymond’s nose twitched. He could smell burning but it didn’t smell like pancakes. He followed the smell to its source, freezing in horror as he noticed that Sally had left the curtains open. He stared in anguish at the smoky, blackened mess that was once his foot; retracting it from the sunlight in vain. “Sparkles my arse†he sobbed as Sally called from the kitchen again. “Hope you like your pancakes extra bloody ‘cause I accidently-on-purpose cut my wrist when I made them. I guess you’ll just have to look after me!†Without a moments hesitation Raymond grabbed the phone. “Now it's time to call the police†he mused as he dialled the number, sensually.
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